Category Archives: Misc / WTF

Death for Five Voices//Carlo Gesualdo//Werner Herzog [Misc / WTF]

By (Staff Post)

1.  Werner Herzog is a sick, sick, total-singularity kind of genius.

2.  So was Prince Carlo Gesualdo, although Gesualdo was more flagrantly psychotic.

3.  Death in Five Voices is Herzog’s movie about Carlo Gesualdo.

4.  You should watch this movie.

5.  You should go to Amazon and buy this movie if you’ve got the cash and would like to see it HD on a large screen.

6.  For more details on Gesualdo, check out my notes below the playlist.


NOTES ON GESUALDO

-Rennaisance Italy’s version of billionaire playboy.  Psycho killer.  Demon.  Alchemist.

-Obsessed with music.  Greatest compositional innovator of his century.

-Composed madrigals which anticipated a musical movement that did not actually develop until 200 hundred years after his death: Expressionism. (See playlist here)

-Murders wife & lover (apparently the hottest woman & young nobleman in Italy respectively) when he discovers that she’s having an affair.

-Monk rapes Gesualdo’s wife’s corpse on the stairs.

-Gesualdo “as we know a demon and an alchemist” who conducted “experiments on the human body” injects the corpses with some kind of serum.  They are still standing in some chapel in Italy.

-Flees to his castle, faraway from Naples.

-Cuts down the forest surrounding his castle by himself.  Without help.  Over a period of several months.

-Hires servants to whip him and generally abuse him.

-Eventually dies from excessive torture after having written a bunch of music that opened a door for later composers like Wagner to walk through.

-Today the castle is apparently a playground for various people who live in a nearby insane asylum.

Carlo Gesualdo totally murdered his way hot wife and her lover. Here are their bodies.

Carlo Gesualdo totally murdered his way hot wife and her lover. Here are their bodies.

If you are at all into this kind of thing, JNR HIGHLY recommends that you check out the music of CJ Boyd whose music is (in our opinion) way more exciting & fun to listen to than classical Expressionism while playing in vaguely the same arena or at least the same hemisphere (RE: super experimental, involving an instrument used in orchestras etc.)  If you’re not into expressionism or CJ Boyd, you should at least buy this awesome CJ Boyd Teen Wolf inspired t-shirt:

CJ BOYD-Teen Wolf T-Shirt

CJ BOYD//Teen Wolf T-Shirt

 

Prank Calling Buzz Osborne [Misc / WTF]

By (Staff Post)

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I’d stolen this Freemason book from my Grandfather.  It was pretty tight–it had lots of strange illustrations.  My Grandfather wasn’t missing it.  He was hallucinating things against the screen of ceiling tiles above his bed in the nursing home we’d outsourced him to.  He was seeing dead people. I remember the last conversation I had with him: It was sort of ambiguous but I think he was trying to ask me to kill him.  “But you do what you think is right, Tommy.”  So I stole the Mason book.

So what we would do is on a Friday night–after consuming heroic doses of various illicit substances–we would call up our hero: the superhuman, the electric centaur.  That is, Buzz Osbourne.  And we would read into his voicemail, passages from the book.  In retrospect, the whole procedure was almost like a strange form of prayer.  Here’s an exemplary passage, chosen at random:

They are twins, fitly mated & as either gains control of the unfortunate subject, his soul withers away and decays, and at last dies out. The souls of half the human race leave them long before they die. “They cover all the skin of him that hath the plague, from his head even to his foot.” Even the raw flesh of the heart becomes unclean with it.  Algebra applies to the clouds; the radiance of the star benefits the rose; no thinker would dare to say that the perfume of the hawthorn is useless to the constellations. Who, then, can calculate the path of the molecule? How do we know that the creations of worlds are not determined by the fall of grains of sand?

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